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This year is my 4th year doing ballet "again". I did it for 3 when I was little, but then I only did jazz for a while. I only started doing ballet again because it was a requirement to be on the competition team at my old studio. Competing sounded like fun (this was pre-Dance Moms), so I figured I'd give it a go.
Turns out, it probably would've been better had I been doing ballet for a lot longer. That's probably the only thing I'd go back and change in all honesty. But, after 2 years of throwing myself in and doing everything I could at the studio, we found out that it really wasn't professional enough and if I wanted to continue to grow I'd have to move to a new studio.
I honestly hate change. It sucks. I'm no good at talking to people I don't know. Surprisingly, moving studios wasn't as bad as I thought. I was horribly scared though and really didn't talk to anyone the first few months, but then people gradually started talking to me more and more. I really, really, like it there now.
Anyways, one of the reasons we chose that studio was because they had an in house company- Ballet Theatre of Illinois. Last year, my first year at the studio, I decided I would audition for it, and I actually made it. I was pretty amazed as I didn't expect that at all! But, it kept getting better. The first day of classes, my teacher told me that she wanted me to take pointe 1.
Pointe is ballet where you stand on the tips of your toes. Classes are by invitation only and a pretty huge deal, in my opinion. It takes a crazy amount of strength as well as technique and you can easily hurt yourself if you're lacking in either of those.
Taking pointe now meant that I had to dance en pointe in our performance for Ballet Theatre of Illionis. I was freaking out to say the least. On Halloween, we got to go up and walk across the room for the first time without an aid. I was in love. I thought pointe was the best thing in the world!
Then, we started rehearsals for BTI. Pretty much everything changed. We had to do things in our dance that we hadn't yet learned in class. It was a huge push and was also pretty scary. I started coming home with bad blisters and bruised toe nails. I couldn't wait until rehearsal was over!
This year, I'm taking 3 ballet classes a week. These classes include 1.5 hours of ballet, then 45 minutes of pointe. The first few weeks I was dying I just couldn't keep up with all the other girls! They were easily doing double pirouettes and I was still scared to do singles!
I went back and got another fitting on the 7th of September. I left with brand new shoes and determination. I've been working really hard outside of class as well as inside and trying things that I'm scared to do. I realized that the worse that could happen is me falling. I've already done that plenty of times in other classes, so there's no need to worry about it here. After that, things have gotten a lot better. I haven't had any bruises since and I'm no longer scared of my shoes!
I think just doing pointe in general was a huge milestone for me and I'm extremely proud of how far I've come. Even if this isn't something I wind up doing, it really helped me learn that I won't be perfect at everything I try, as much as I'd like to say I am. But, if I work hard enough at it, I can do it and actually be half good.
-Cassi
